posts

hungery

Bringing my mood down by reading some prick’s blog just to get a sense of how much of a prick he is.

Kardemumabullar

My two biggest influences rn are God and Bernard Williams

Bleh I want to shampoo my brain and I want to have proportionate reactions to random things that upset me

Played piano last night for like twenty minutes and it left me feeling better so that ought to tell me something

I’m an anxy mfer lately wonder why

Caring about things puts me in a position where I can have hard feelings and I’m getting better at believing that that’s not a good reason to stop caring about things.

Sometimes playing percussion means you stand silently for 32 measures and then gently touch something

Cleaned my tub…going to take a shower now…wish me luck…

My friend told me I basically want to be Encyclopedia Brown as my career and they were right. That guy got 25¢ a day plus expenses and all he had to do was be a bookish wiseass.

I’m struggling in a pretty fundamental way to anchor myself to what I really value in life or even be clear on what that is and I feel a lot of uncertainty about the future and I’m having a bad time being alone with my own thoughts and there’s no punchline here that’s just what I’m going through!

I’m really really trying and it feels like it isn’t all exactly working but I gotta keep trying stuff

Bike day

I don’t want a job per se as much as I want a house.

Beep boop.

I may be distressed and dejected but at least I can still be distracted

Around and around.

I love pesach

Mr. Grimp

As opposed to like a corporate ideology receptacle

Finally talked to a recruiter who is like a normal guy

I just realized that if I were a UPS driver I’d be so desperate to know what everybody was getting.

Gloomy and depressed about stuff and things a lot but every time I’m not depressed I feel so thoroughly cheerful about life and its pleasures

The good thing about applying to jobs is it may eventually yield a job. The bad thing about applying to jobs is it definitely yields rejection from jobs.

Best reason to contribute to open source stuff is to pretend to be working

“By pressing down a special key it plays a little melody”

Oh no I’m sleepy but I’m also anxious this has never happened before

Relaxing is hard to do!

Beebooboop

Bus wait grr

I’m so sleepy now

Has anyone else heard of going outside and getting exercise, I just invented this

Kinda brainless tonight…book too hard…

Hm I watched two kinda sad movies in the last two days wonder why I’m sad

Baseball…

OK so like I have been feeling a lot better the last few days but I also am still not exactly believing in myself right now and so maybe the thing to do is just use my not totally depressedness in service of going on really long bike rides or something

bleh

blehhhhhhhhhhh

On my third consecutive day of not being horrifically depressed! I’m going to go to the Looney Tunes movie!!

My bus driver has an unlit blunt in his mouth, that’s a new one on me.

It’s absolutely nuts how much better not feeling depressed feels than feeling depressed.

After years of hating utilitarians I think I finally can provide a concise and cogent summary of what I think is wrong with utilitarianism when the situation calls for it.

I’d gloss my agonies but it’s not really worth it I’m just harblin and garblin

Harblgarblwarbl

I just want a job real bad tbh

aaaaaa

Being half an hour early for a movie is pretty good actually.

Muy preocupado

Feeling a little more confident that I may get a job again in under a year but nothing firm yet about my present prospects.

Thank goodness there’s an unending quantity of thrillers I can read

I’m just in a preposterous frame of mind and I have to keep applying to jobs

I wish I could just preemptively block everyone on letterboxd who has ever used the word “boring” in a review

Bad enough to reject me from a job at 11pm but I think 1am is even worse.

For all the three decades of hack jokes about people’s coffee orders, I do actually think that one of the clutchest things you can do in life is walk into a coffee shop, order a drip coffee black, and walk out.

Dick Freezer

100% deck stake wins on Balatro I never have to play again!!

I only have a single gold stake left to go in Balatro but due to my multiple Nintendos Switch and the lack of functioning home internet until Tuesday I am unable to work on it all weekend

My brain is dichotomized between aggressive self-deluding optimism and thinking about dying rn, need some in betweens in my life

Hm don’t love having dudes working on the roof all day

I’ve stated up too late and I’m hungry

Only two stakes to go in Balatro until I’m done forever

I’m going through a phase of just wanting to read entire mysteries and thrillers in the course of an evening but I’m doing some more ambitious reading too. But also I like to enjoy the stories

slacking a bit on watching movies I should watch some more movies

Tylenol 😍

Finished plasma just gotta do erratic

Metaphorically I mean. Even if I had a job I’d be sitting around all day.

I’m just tired of sitting around all day!!

Sneezing wtf

Cake…

Bedtime…

Sigh

following leads

#hives

I really enjoyed my long trip in October however I had a less relaxed time on the long train rides than I had hoped for. It didn’t help that on the second out of 5 I got hives real bad and they hadn’t 100% eased off by the time I was on my way home!

Something about the proof assistant makes it way easier for me to stay concentrated on doing little proofs that I would absolutely have abandoned if I were trying to work through a book like this on my own. The interactive feedback of the system telling me my progress is very good for my programmer brain, it keeps me focused on the goals, and it tells me when I’m right! It’s so fun.

It wasn’t all day I took a walk and had lunch and went to the library

I want a job pretty fiercely but it’ll make it harder to spend all day doing math homework for purely recreational purposes.

math math math wheee

completely absorbed by math today

Working through a math book using Lean and the little IDE window tells me “goals accomplished” whenver I have done something right and that’s very encouraging!

Y’ever been sleepy before?? It’s crazy!!!

Zero small cat

My eyeballs are drying out

The Mountain Goats - Transcendental Youth (2012)

I’m nice to hug

carnitasssssss

Ooops feeling sad thinking about the destroyed Jewish communities of Europe!!!!

I’m happier when I’m being chill about it so I should keep aiming to be chill about it.

In this situation where I want to have a job like yesterday but I also have no reason I can’t be patient and picky.

I’m gonna be honest I am starting to feel a little bit bad about the number of jobs that have turned me down without talking to me. (Several.)

Just had a dream that was a productive and perfectly normal work meeting

Had a nice birthday weekend!

tbh vacation is a little hollow when I don’t really have work to take a vacation from but I’ve been applying to jobs so that’s like work

Excited for my cold wet vacation

Trying to learn something new and in the process I’m having flashbacks to the one time I tried to do contest math in high school and was like ah yes I can’t do this

I’ve completed 13/15 gold stakes in Balatro, have 3 stakes to go on the plasma deck and 6 on erratic deck and then I’m hopefully never going to play this game again.

Death Cab For Cutie Transatlanticism 2003

Hurgle

Hmmmmm…I don’t seem to have any objectives…at least I have an appointment to go to in a couple of hours…

I love to hear about a book

Different mood every day but that’s pretty normal

Putney

Acting class should be against the law!

Once again going on a little walk has done incredible things for my mood, to say nothing of eating a snack.

There’s various reasons I’d like to have a job again and one of them is that without a job it’s kinda just easy to do nothing all afternoon in a way I don’t necessarily enjoy at all.

Everyone agrees I’m cute

Can’t solve any problems by navigating brain maze when I should go to sleep.

Crazy …

You know what would be crazy is if I had like a drinking water faucet right next to my bed

Tennis is crazy

Tati’s stream is already so relaxing and now she has nature sounds…

Fell asleep for an hour right before bedtime and there’s no telling when I might fall asleep again! Nice!

Could try to go to sleep but I’m just trying to see if any of my middle school teachers have anything about them online.

It is time to resume the piano

wargle

Hungry and headache so I have ordered teriyaki on doordash and I’m going to like try not to think toooo hard

I’ll try to do some stuff tomorrow

My bedtime feelings are not so bad but they are still a little bad.

I gotta get back on the piano

Schroedinger’s Job

I don’t even remember how to post, my posts here are mostly very simple lately. Goodnight.

Possibly just hungry, unclear

Spaced out and kinda sad but I have another chance at having a nice day tomorrow!

I should go get myself a treat tomorrow

I won an interview by forfeit today.

I want to play Irritating Stick

Just gotta keep doing stuff that makes me feel good and healthy every day forever and I’ll never be sad again(??)

In exciting news, going out and doing things has done a whole lot for my mood.

Bleh!

I should shut my eyes but looking at the work I did recently is kinda soothing

I may be sad and the world may be terrifying but at least I can post about this on my own website and not anybody else’s!!

Got the pizza I wanted

I want pizza…

I’m a sad little bundle of wet rags sometimes and other times I am a sweet sparkly cupcake

Anyway I have a new phone, I’ve been frog-boiled into accepting large phone

Ooh sunshine

Having fun!

porp porp

Hurk. Warp. Blong.

tap-dancing is hardly ever called for in everyday life and that’s just a crying shame

imo I have done a great job of relaxing the past few weeks

Happy first daylong allergy attack of 2025

Happy 2025, the year of the linux desktop

Made the best iterations of both latkes and brisket that I’ve done in a while this weekend and I’m v pleased

I think Milady got a raw deal tbh but she def murdered a bunch of people also

There’s one thing that would make the Zojirushi rice cooker more perfect and that would be if it beeped briefly when the time remaining on the cook cycle popped up on the screen.

Sort of relaxing, sort of skipping lunch due to feverish enthusiasm for coding

My objective for the next few weeks: relax???? Dunno if it’s possible.

Oops stayed up a little late for no particularly enjoyable reason I’m just bleary-eyed and looking at my phone. Goodnight!!!!!

Done some work I’m pretty proud of lately???

I am a menace who should not be trusted with 3D video games

Don’t want to be free want to be with you.

Alas

sometimes failure is called for

Instead of trying to wind down I have researched how the TeX primitive was originally documented and implemented, and how it is documented and behaves on today’s most common implementation, and now it’s after 1am and I am just desperate to be noticed by senpai, who is certainly asleep.

I kinda hate when the first chapter of a book is all in italics. Skip it!!

My laptop running OpenBSD is now capable of waking from sleep, it’s a thanksgiving miracle!

It’s fine though I remembered it’s just computers and it’s not anything special.

Accidentally thought about Kubernetes when I didn’t have to.

Vasovagal syncope is like the most unpleasant thing to experience, I’d rather pass out completely than have to experience the sweating and ringing and eye blurry

Scheduling a job interview is a big help when I’ve been feeling dejected and unemployable.

I’m just an animal who needs to be nice to myself

Moody moody moody

If I sit still long enough I start to worry I’m unemployable.

Get in the Car, Loser is too real lol

hm

?

Donuttttt

Finally put the AC away weeks later than I should’ve and dripped water all over the floor but hey I did one of the chores I’ve been avoiding and maybe I am allowed to lie down now

tfw the spec says that something is degrees but it’s clearly actually radians

realized posts wasn’t working right and had to fix posts instead of trying to actually wind down for sleep lmao

post

OK fixed, I keep forgetting that I have to deal with this somehow when I upgrade python

hm?

hm

Grinding out edge cases is going to make me crazy if I keep dwelling on it right now and I should really focus on a couple more things I probably actually need and move on, otherwise I’m going to get dejected and give up when I’ve got no errors on 95% of the pages I’m testing with.

interesting to look back through posts and remember that I can be down in the dumps for all sorts of different reasons

moop moop moop grump grump grump

Had to shock myself back into my body by drenching myself with water but now that I’m out I’m damp and very cold

When will perfume companies make the fragrance I really crave, eau de indoor public pool

Hehe the end of Alan Wake II is like a cognitive behavioral therapy worksheet

Had a dream about putting my laptop into sleep mode

Minot, ND smells like manure

Easily validated abject notation

Big banner on industrial building somewhere west of Gary, Indiana: “#1 BOP SHOP”

I don’t want to read book I want to talk to friend but friend all asleep still!!

Sun’s up so I can see the corn now

Been a long time since I had cold leftover Chinese food for breakfast

Mass MoCA!!

My trip has been so nice

It seems to be Boston EMT graduation day at the library, nice brown uniforms.

Train go choo choo

Hudson News is just Hudson now I guess.

Oof I’m like extra sleepy today and I am getting on the train in a few hours and I would just like to take a quick nap…blz

Gotta say it’s way more pleasant to not try to sleep than to try to sleep if I clearly won’t be able to sleep

2:30am is a spectacular time to have cereal

I had a Vietnamese iced coffee and an espresso at dinner and I’m still awake and just read a whole Peter Wimsey book and these things could be related

The pillars of late American theater are monologues, family trauma, and wandering around the stage.

You’d think I’d have more to post about on my long vacation but I’m basically just chilling

I love friendship :)

Being covered in hives for two days makes the train journey a bit less fun

Dodge City, Kansas

I am pooped and need to recover HP on the train.

What does it feel like to be a battery getting charged?

Reached a new level of coffee sicko by ordering a cold brew with a shot

Waluigi has Haman vibes

Being on the train for 36 hours is kinda like spacing out on the bus for an extra long time

Hmm I gotta watch FLCL soon

Funny to have been on the train for 7 and a half hours and still have 28 hours left on the train

Train soon…train…

Sleepy

I’m tired and I want to go to sleep, however if I turn out the lights I might feel feelings I’m not ready for, in conclusion I will go to sleep soon

I will eventually get sick of making beef with broccoli every few weeks but I am not sick of it yet.

Oh no I’m sad wtfffff

Going to the woods tonight!

If you assume most development time goes to idiot edge cases I’m just taking care of as many idiot edge cases up front as I can. I really do think it’s making things more correct to begin with!

I’m being a bit loosey goosey with where I consume my EOLs but I think it’ll all shake out in the end.

The end result of all of this does seem to be that my code is better and simpler though, so that’s good?

I’m spending a a lot of time this morning being able to parse things that nobody would ever actually write but is allowed without warnings by the implementation I’m trying to be compatible with and I’m not sure how valuable it is but it’s making my brain happy so that’s what’s really important probably.

Extreme coding fugue the last few days!!

I’m real sleepy but I was hurting so much last night that I was miserable for what felt like hours so I don’t want to try to sleep. Cool!

I really shouldn’t be thinking about SNMP at this time of night!

angs iety

angs Jett

Now, there are hundreds of websites!

t-2 😮

Percival! Everett!

Was very sleepy but then I stayed up to read for a while and now I want to read some more (still sleepy)

Haven’t been posting all that much. Pretty much just chilling I guess.

Can always grow another one if it’s dead.

I have been forgetting to feed my sourdough culture b/c I haven’t been baking with it (or much at all) and honestly I don’t think I really mind, sure it’s cool and all but it’s also more work and I just wanna eat bread I think.

I’m so sleepy!

Oops I have played video pinball for several hours instead of going to sleep. In my defense, I wanted to.

I may be sad and frustrated and worried but those are all perfectly fine feelings to have and I don’t need to be upset that I am having them on top of the pain of having them

I dreamt just now about a vending machine/coin operated novelty called “No Sharks for a Nickel” where you deposit a nickel and it dispenses no sharks.

emitted a blood-curdling yelp when I was lying outside earlier b/c a leaf fell on me

I now have to swallow forbidden gogurt twice a day

I’m a little tired of some of my brain routines right now but since I probably can’t change them in a timely fashion I can at least try to mitigate them.

want to replace smartphone w/ roast beef sandwich

Burgermaster…

I love riding the bus

I love going to the video store

Hm earlier I was like “I am mentally healed from my recent stresses and am perfectly at peace” but now I’m like kinda scrunchy again

Basically, I’m aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Trying to be chill and live my life but also I’m once again waiting for things to occur and it’s making it hard to do anything else other than sit and wait

Spent my whole evening reading various governmental PDFs

I have booked my Big Stupid Train Journey.

Man, Pogo is funny

Thinking about god as usual

Time to see Seven Samurai on da big screen!

Hm, sitting at the computer and it’s like…I don’t want to do anything or think about anything…

We went on a great hike yesterday and we both did a great job and neither of us lost our composure which is huge for us

My sister is here! But she’s leaving soon :((((

Ow my parts

Had a very interesting conversation where we determined that I may have never experienced the thing people call boredom, or at least I can’t remember it. Fascinating.

feeling nice about my current pursuits of reading & baking bread

Super sleeby today, spent a bunch of time napping on the couch. Feels pretty good though.

tfw you order 3 tacos and they’re huge and you can only eat one taco

I am starting a levain culture (aka sourdough starter) so things are really escalating bread wise

Arrrrrrrgh

Bread…

I still have this problem of wishing I were busier but I think I might manage to remain calm about it.

Good morning!

as always the only thing better than going on vacation is getting home from vacation

hungry

I have been very relaxed and content on this vacation and looking at old posts where I was discontented or depressed has me all “why would I ever feel bad” but of course vacation doesn’t last forever and it’s fine if I feel bad again sometime in the future and it’s even fine if I post about it.

It is nice to sit by the ocean

Portland is too hot!

Current status: train. Later today: beach.

Beethoven 5: it’s good folks!

I guess part of the problem with The Economy is lots of stuff is expensive and sucks.

More stuff should be cheap and suck

Bach good

breb

Sometimes I just don’t wanna go to sleeeeep shshsshhshs

Why are there no hamburgers

I ordered some nonperishable groceries from Costco a while ago and while the immediate motivation was peanut butter pretzels the real long term win from that was the 40 count case of Indo Mie

Really mostly just want to be useful

I have had a headache all dayyyyyyy

My knowledge of “bad kids” is entirely academic

Oops I’ve read a book smh

can’t believe my library got ransomwared right after I got an ereader

Some ups and downs with my life right now but I seem to have gotten my latest bout of mental distress a bit under control

There’s really rarely anyone trying to contact me

I may be in the midst of learning to relax

Trying to just do whatever it is I’m doing without making it anybody else’s problem today, but if I can make it your problem please let me know

in my ideal job I just work from home shunting data from one place to another

Animal Well good game

When it is warm I like the fan

Hmmghh hahhhrhdhh hdbngggffg

Animal Well

I’m imagining software that could exist pretty hard this week.

Didn’t even take a nap today and I was definitely tired all evening but I now don’t want to go to sleep because I’ve been thinking about books

Allergies augghhfghgghh

Felt like I was holding my breath for the last 20 minutes of the Goldberg Variations, what an incredible performance.

Sometimes it is hard to imagine a shape

Reading a long and slangy book in Spanish is gonna take me A While

I try to be nice almost always, but then sometimes I go online and get mad. Alas.

It’s free to be nice but unfortunately it’s also free to be kinda mean

It’s very pleasant sitting in the sunshine, dunno if people know about this

I should give myself something else to doooooooo

Benjamin Britten…

I’m at the symphony with my beloved and that’s pretty nice.

For my sins I am now thinking about X.12 EDI standards

I’m always glad when something is behind me. Including good things. Nice to have stuff over with.

Owwwwww

Too many weird dreams

Excited to go to the beach in a couple months

cozybed is nice

The Dickens experience is a decidedly mixed one but when he’s on he’s really on

Sleepy…

Probably not literally true but maybe sort of true

I’m home! I’ll never leave again

I think I am actually going to take the train for all domestic travel from now on I’m sick of stupid flights and stupid airports and stupid TSA

Traveling home after a vacation always makes me think that traveling is just a huge waste of time and effort and then eventually I forget and travel somewhere again.

Sandwidge…

Note to self: Dan Flavin as a pictorial artist, ambiguity of the picture plane in the Marfa work etc, where to stand, rule of three

Can’t believe I had bad dreams the other day about trying to grovel for my old job back

As is traditional i have started wanting to go home precisely halfway through my vacation

Like, I’m fine but also everything I do seems ridiculous

It’s pretty cool that I can be fine and also losing my little mind all the time

Marfa!

Thunderstorm!

Not sleepy yet, I keep taking naps

Sun: eclipsed

Southwest, the Megabus of airlines

aaa where is my mouth guard oh fuckin well

Late night strange thoughts, weird sense memories

Both my gums and my eyesight are in stable condition and that’s pretty good for 35

Anne Carson

Rain is nice and I am cozy and (say it with me now) nothing bad is happening!

Trying to write some Python, realizing I need to go remember how to write Python.

Haven’t posted much lately! Life is pretty OK? I’m going on vacation next week, and that’s fun. I should make an eye doctor appointment soon. &c &c. OK bye!

Sleeby

Took a longish nap before dinner, I’m much too awake to try to sleep but I don’t feel like doing much of anything either. I guess I’ll simply have to keep playing Balatro.

I am determined to have my Best Summer Ever, or at least a good one

Took advantage of the last bright warm day before we get clouds again for a while and my freelance lifestyle and sat around in the park for an hour and a half this afternoon. Pretty good.

Lmao up til 1 the heck AM fiddling with code

Keep having too much fun programming computer!

Today’s “dinner made of stuff that was already in the house” was fresh pasta(!) with olive oil, spicy bread crumbs, Romano cheese, and tomato

it’s Friday afternoon which is a time I don’t necessarily have to get “down to business” in any way but I sort of want to but I am probably going to sit in bed and play more Balatro and that is fine

Had an coffee yesterday afternoon and I’m on my second consecutive night of not sleeping because of that

☺️

I was a little bit “bad” today vis a vis having a second coffee after noon and then I had a bad time for an hour or so after dinner so I’m up a little late and I’m not trying to fall asleep just yet, it’s fine tho! I’m fine

Writing some good code today…it’s definitely going to give some people online an infinite number of things to suggest changes to once it exists.

Might be about time to make my once per decade attempt to enjoy interactive fiction

I feel a little crazy but I’m sure it’s because I’m tired and need to go to sleep

Generally feeling good about myself this a.m.

software’s nature is to make intelligible, disembodied, and omnipresent that which was previously obscure, embodied, and localized

I like doing mundane useful stuff gluing systems together so much and I want to do it as much as possible people should hire me

panzer dragoon torts

I know I should take at least a little walk every day but it’s still winter and I still don’t want to

with my single freelance client my best month so far was not much more than my gross salary a decade ago and the other months so far have not been at a long-term sustainable gross income and the work is occasionally kind of annoying for technological reasons and I am periodically lonely in a new and unusual way however the amount of proud of myself and pleased with my work that I am is unparalleled and I hope I get to keep working like this forever

I played a ton of Balatro and I finished Gravity’s Rainbow over the weekend so that’s pretty good!

But what if they secretly hate me?, a brain resource for the anxious.

I’d like to finish reading Gravity’s Rainbow this weekend but there’s a decent chance I just play a shitton of Balatro.

takin care of stuff…

Here lies Evan who died from playing too much Balatro

Started a new Hollow Knight file the other day…good game…maybe I’ll beat it this time?

bwahahahahaha so powerful

I figured out the stupid thing! With the computer!

I’ve done so much computer this week…I hope people who understand things better than me can track down the cause of the Haskell bug I’m having on my OpenBSD laptop

I remembered that the bad part of fucking around with computers for fun is that sometimes something is broken in a way that is totally beyond you and there’s basically nothing you can do about it, indefinitely.

My situation right now is whenever I’m not doing anything I have anxiety which makes it harder to do anything

Love reading my little crime books and my little boat books

I’m back at (the theatre formerly known as) Cinerama!

Really quite pleased with my efforts this week

my blogge post has been linked in various places and may even have generated a single lead :O

test

normie opinion but “Fast Car” is really just the best song isn’t it

Sometimes I’m sleepy and I’m like noooooo whyyyyyy

I’m sleepy give me cookies

Don’t feel well 😟

I’m birthday…full of dinner and cake

Time for my birthday nap!

paternoster lift gang

writing…🫢

Sometimes I wish I could just eat sautéed garlic and onions for dinner but there’s no way that would taste as good as it smells

Daydreaming about investing in a used bookstore rn tbh

Day started kinda grumpy but I’m fine now

My sleep feels messed up lately and it’s annoying but whatever man life is chill for now.

Caught out by a canceled bus trip boo

Sleepy…want to get up but bed so nice …

Gonna be hard to go back to watching movies without live symphonic accompaniment after this

Spent a couple hours today trying to abstract away the database connection parameter in my Haskell program and got flummoxed by various things and then decided it was basically pointless and just backed it all out. I like making things implicit but I also like that things work when you do them the obvious way even if a couple little things get duplicated.

So tired what a drag

I do an ok job of not letting myself get upset when I can’t sleep these days but it’s not like I wouldn’t rather be asleep, not as if I’m doing anything really

Wow big insomnia night huh

Up a bit late thinking about money and computer

I love when a detective story has a funny little coda

Wehhh bloo

I wanted to bake cookies but it’s like 11:30 and I was all “i’m not tired” but lo and behold I’m actually tired

good computer story

I think most of the albums I’ve ever loved have snuck up on me.

lol I was like “wow based on the cutscenes this speedrun race is neck and neck down to like a couple frames” but since it’s in the background while I’m working I wasn’t really paying attention and now I finally noticed that it’s not a race it’s a co-op

Oh neat, I can trigger my Post workflow from Spotlight on my mac, instant posting.

Me at bedtime when everything is fine: ooh what if I lost my mind for a while on purpose

Every year I get halfway through January and start thinking that the year is getting away from me.

Haskell is fun but also sometimes the documentation for a useful operator is purely phrased in abstract math terms and a single abstract example and I gotta say that kinda sucks.

Uh oh I’m thinking too hard

Hoping I can just chill for the next like two years

Haskell intensifying

I had a good day and weekend but in a way where I feel kinda weird right now but it’s fine I simply am existing and I get to talk to people again in the morning

I’m sleepy and cold but I’ve been having a decent weekend

This week I unblocked my longstanding inability to get a proper handle on Haskell by telling myself it’s okay to write bad code for a while and not worry about factoring everything in the most abstract and generalized way.

Experienced some post-nap disgruntlement but I made dinner and ate it and now I’m fine actually

I’m a good egg I think

Not giving myself a hard time for just chilling and not making my friends tell me it’s fine that I’m just chilling…what a concept

I’m just the sleepiest little guy around

Half the point of cultivating good taste is so that other people can know about it

Setting traps for myself that require me to leave the house/go for a walk like promising to get something from the store: effective.

doop doop doing work doop doop

I’ve tried having good mental health for several days and it’s very hard

notched a three mile walk at lunchtime, I feel like if I can do that every couple days for a while I will do a better job of not developing the misconception that I can’t walk that far as a casual thing

Bonked my head against a doorframe earlier today and screamed bloody murder unnecessarily, it sure hurt for a minute tho

back 2 work!

hny

hbu

grateful for a lot of things, ilu

grateful for the recent conversation w/ my friend where we concluded that “freelancing part-time” is, in fact, a pretty normal condition to be in, and not some weird and possibly bad thing that I’m doing

looking forward to the future, for the time being

“It’s hard to like a programming language because ultimately it’s a prison for your mind.” —A.S.

I stopped feeling cute for a while but I’m going to start feeling cute again.

It feels like there’s not really a programming language out there that precisely fits what I want out of a programming language at this exact moment of my life but there’s a few things I should try out.

I should add to my business homepage that I want to work on creating attractive documents.

wow the maker of the acrylic earrings I just bought has some pretty out there stuff on her website about how her jewelry is inspired by her cosmic connection to nature and inviting me to join her inner circle (newsletter)

ill-met by moonlight

casting my mind about like Calvin lifting the top of his skull up and letting his brain hop away

My plans to be nicer to myself from now on are very exciting. Everything will be more fun when I’m not telling myself I’m doing a bad job or that I suck for doing it at all instead of some other thing.

Dreamt I had a bunch of people over fit a party it was horrible.

Lying around brainstorming various business models

home :)

I shall be shortly leaving Canada

Britney Spears is playing at this dumpling place and I’m pretty into it

I think one of my favorite things to do while traveling is to sit and look at my phone in a library I haven’t been to before

I’m in Canada!

What a nice day I’ve had, going to Canada in the morning!

Sometimes dinner is so good that later on I’m all “remember dinner?”

This is a post about my sister Magdalen who is really funny and nice and an enthusiastic friendship activity doer and kind to animals

I went to the grocery store and it worked out fine and I made nice dinner and then I got cinnamon rolls ready to bake in the morning

Gonna have to go to the grocery store, might be a bit of a hassle but eh

bus stamp

My New Year’s resolutions are to get into a new routine and to try to be mean to myself less

I had an incredible night’s sleep and I didn’t stay up too late becoming miserable beforehand either!

OK sports fans place your bets, will I go to sleep at a reasonable time tonight or will I keep myself up way past my bedtime for the purpose of feeling bad about myself

Shocking nobody, the problem was I needed to go to fuckin sleep.

I guess sometimes I’ve just gotta go to sleep.

I’d be hard-pressed to explain what if anything I’m thinking about but I damn sure am thinking about it

do people read henry james in real life

can’t go to sleep I’m trying to know about every book

uhhhwwehuhhuu

hghhgghghhg ehwwehehhfhhf

I really hate pausing an album after I’ve started playing it, it always feels rude.

still grody and I’m not sure my brain is totally functional but I’m determined to act like I’m alive for at least an hour or so today

Oops can’t sleep lol

Enjoying laughter 🙂

Sick enough to complain at any rate

Not so sick that I really feel miserable but sick enough that lying down and playing video games is about as much as I care to do

Still a bit sick this morning but my brain might work well enough to read a book for a bit.

Arrrgh I don’t care just wanna live

I can not keep it in my head today that it’s Monday, I have been reminding myself every 5 minutes

freelancing is cool so far tho I just need to have more of it to do

man I miss being at a job with people I can conceivably be helpful to every day

always easier to imagine stuff than to do it especially when the imagination gets pretty advanced

“I’m mostly feeling better!” I think to myself then I try going down and up the stairs and I’m like ehhhh bit woozy still

The fediverse seems to be a modest success and I’m glad a lot of people are having a good time with it but I do also think that it’s well-documented that the context collapse of “everyone is always talking to everyone” inherent in the Twitter design was basically bad not good. And now clones of YouTube and Instagram and Reddit and GitHub all want to be federated, for various reasons. Whereas a big reason I created posts.html is that I didn’t want my posts to live alongside anyone else’s posts anymore; I figure if people want to read my posts near other posts they can use the RSS feed. And so like I wonder what other forms of horizontal organization aren’t getting as much energy because everyone is so stoked on federation, and federating open-by-default even in many cases. Or even what other kinds of friendly, useful, and creative software people aren’t working on because they want to do open source posting. Like it’s hard to put my finger on what I mean exactly, other than pointing at plain-text accounting tools like hledger or even my favorite software that I don’t use and saying can’t we make more stuff like this that’s useful? What is your favorite free, creative, small, useful software? Let me know in the comments.

anyway I’m sick

Linebreaks are good for like
posting like an emo away message or something
from AIM
in 2005

Hm thought I knew how to make linebreaks
Is it two spaces?

I have a coooooold My cold is baaaaaad I am unhappppyyyy It’s not really that badddddd But I’m crankyyyyyy This ends my songgg

I’m sick wtf

Going to go to the store for hamburger parts

I’m “culture jamming” (not getting a job)

It’s amazing how few hours I have to actually “work” every day to get plenty of work done

hungry tho

I’ve been a bit off-kilter but I’m managing to dial it in.

I want a billion dollars

I’m doing a great job and I’m being very brave and looking after myself and it’s all gonna be fine and nothing bad is happening!

“To the scandal of language he does not consent.”

It’s Monday? What the fuck

lmao I’m so tired

Chanukah :)

Last night I finally got past “it would be cool to try to learn Ancient Greek” and started trying to learn Ancient Greek. Nice!

Book madness is peaking

I don’t want to put myself down about it though, I think I’m aiming in the right direction and I have the energy and focus to make it work out in the long run

I really love freelancing so far, but it’s possible this is partly because I don’t have a huge volume of work to do and am living on severance/savings.

The sun’s out and it’s party-prep time

Chankuah! 🕯️

It’s raining again.

Thinkin about books, farting really bad farts

Oh no tummy hurt

I’ve been reading Gravity’s Rainbow and I gotta say World War II isn’t really “fun” is it

Taking a long afternoon nap is often necessary and is even a privilege of the freelance lifestyle but it does mean I’m more likely to be up a bit late with nobody to talk to

Frankly my root canal was fine

They scooped out all my goop

I’ve been telling everyone in my life about my root canal today, it’d have been pretty funny if I were using this as an alibi somehow but I’m really just getting a root canal

I kiss the wall’s hole, not your lips at all.

sigh

I made won tons w/ chili oil sauce, and also made the chili oil earlier, tastes good

Sometimes cooking dinner is just a really pleasant success

I like it here though.

As of today I have lived in Seattle for 11 years. I think this anniversary only gets less interesting as time goes on.

Of course I still don’t really want to go to sleep for some reason even though I feel quite tired

Probably that’ll about do it for my 6am jet lagged wakeups oh well

Hmm I seem to have stayed up a bit late reading

I’m a bit unglued, it’s bedtime so I shouldn’t worry about it but I think I can acknowledge it

You really can’t trust any technologist who doesn’t readily agree that computers were a mistake.

Ryuichi Sakamoto Energy Flow good song

wow being at home is nice

Somehow using Flonase helped my teeth bother me a bit less temporarily, possibly bc it’s just squirting a steroid into my face cavity

Excited to go home tomorrow and see Mister Zero

I’m so sleepy!!

Ugh I really wish I could go to the dentist but I’m on vacation til Tuesday

I have to let fun books age for a while after buying them because it only takes a day or two to actually read them

I’m with my family :)

Visiting home for the first time in two years, which was itself the first time I had visited home in two(?) years

I’m still experiencing a sort of ambient and persistent disquiet owing to recent unexpected life changes. I’ll live through it.

Doing a good job of respecting my first weekend of my freelance career

I seem to have heartburn sniffles, on top of a toothache in my tooth with the crown

Gonna leave the house 👀👀

I’ve got some disquiet built up right now but also some contentment and having both of these things at once is itself disquieting but I guess I’ll try to keep the metafeelings to a minimum and just have the experiences I’m having.

I generally discourage the comparison of programming the computer to magic but I have to admit that a big part of programming is learning the true names of things.

I’m business

I have work tomorrow! Incredible.

Hate when I’m trying to sleep and my brain fully wants to start dreaming but I’m awake and so my semiconscious dream thoughts startle and upset me

Got some horrible potato burps

Already have used the excitement and novelty of my new desktop computer to get some recreational programming done

Bringing back bad websites and “going on the computer” as a discrete activity

One of the other posts users wants to be able to delete posts, what a concept

Hacking on posts

Tried to do some work tasks today and got so anxious I had to take a long afternoon nap, but I may eventually have liability insurance

I’m tired but trying to sleep when I can’t sleep doesn’t do me any good so time for some more soothing video games

Book

Oops ouch

Roomful of Teeth so good

Hydraulics on the garbage truck sounding like a saxophone solo

Reading Wuthering Heights. Heathcliff is pretty unhinged!

I’m lying on the ground

I’m at an inflection point in my life which is in some ways minor and gentle but if I want to make the most of it I should look for other things to change as long as there’s other changes changing

Someone at the cat cafe had on an FTX shirt and you gotta figure it was probably a goof but the possibility that it wasn’t made me unwilling to comment on it

Having the thing where I should be winding down and relaxing but I want to be thinking about math for some reason but I’m not remotely equipped to think about math

I do have a dictionary but it’s in Spanish.

I wish I had a print dictionary to read in bed

Getting cold! I’m inside and I’m so good at being inside. Need to guard myself against a renewed willingness to post in other places and get mad at people. Posts should go here only, where nobody can get them.

I love friendship

It’s definitely possible to own too many books but I’m quite confident I’m not there yet.

Rainy 😌

Nice for all these years of posting to potentially pay off

The programmer’s great virtue is laziness and their great sin is cleverness.

Night coffee is kind of nice but it has me thinking “oh boy time to get my day started” at ten o clock at night which is not reasonable.

I’m definitely going to try to succeed at freelancing but even if I fail at that I can definitely succeed at not having a job for a while.

Another genre i like is “inner monologue of strange woman”

I need to get a monospace font to call my own on this here website.

I didn’t stop playing Slay the Spire I’m letting them keep occupying me with difficulty modifiers.

I guess one of my objectives for spending my time is to play piano. It’d be nice.

Scrolled to the bottom of my posts and one of my first posts says “[m]y main career goal is to be able to work 7 hour days four days a week.” Good thing I’m my own boss now! At the moment that means I’m working zero hour days zero days a week but.

I guess my plan for the near future is to split my time between working to establish my freelance enterprises, trying to learn some new stuff, and totally chilling out.

English, strictly speaking, is not my first language by the way. I haven’t yet discovered what my first language is so for the time being I use English words in order to say things. I expect I will always have to do it that way; regrettably I don’t think my first language can be written down at all. I’m not sure it can be made external you see. I think it has to stay where it is; simmering in the elastic gloom betwixt my flickering organs. —Claire-Louise Bennett, Pond

Giving myself a little break

Owww

Ow ow ow my toenail

The longer it takes to get a client the more time I can spend yak shaving my financial systems

A little bummed that I haven’t racked up multiple promising leads in my first 24 hours as a freelancer but I’m gonna try to be realistic

I just un-turbofucked my server after a botched upgrade and I even used ed(1) in the process

I’m gonna do a lot of chilling this week

Duckrabbit Solutions is open for business.

Well, that’s over, thank god

Oops I read the shortest possible description of a surgery and that was too much

Watched a spoopy movie which I enjoyed and then also read the plot of Funny Games on Wikipedia and god it sounds annoying as heck

Insert me to cuddle zone

Depressed and taking forever to get enough food into myself every day but I still made progress on some things and this will all be over eventually

h

Hnhnhhhhgggg

Telling myself to be nice to myself endlessly forever

I made an SVG duckrabbit today so I feel much better about myself

I’m in a kind of miserable state of mind and I took a nap today so I don’t really want to try closing my eyes yet and I took Discord off my phone so I wouldn’t have that in my brain all day long and I’d just really love for the dumb situation I am in to be over and also to be given lots of positive and distracting attention

I need a Letterboxd bot to block every user with any Lists with more than 500 or so movies on them so I stop seeing those lists in the Popular Lists of every fuckin movie

Dear captains of industry please leave me and my family alone for a little bit ok thanks

Being on an island is so nice

island island island

I’m full of burger

Looking forward to vacation this weekend, I’m going to leave my phone turned off so hard

My favorite genre is “creepy novels about naïve Bennington students getting embroiled in fucked up situations”

The situation is changing hourly but I’m going on a trip this weekend so honestly I’m just gonna try to relax about it.

The eighty-five-cent dinner tasted like a discarded mail bag and was served to me by a waiter who looked as if he would slug me for a quarter, cut my throat for six bits, and bury me at sea in a barrel of concrete for a dollar and a half, plus sales tax. —Raymond Chandler, Farewell My Lovely

Having reasonable thoughts like “oh no I have to be on an airplane in six months”

Today I took a shower, washed my towels, cleaned the kitchen counter, bought groceries, cooked dinner, and read some book, which is a really spectacular activity log for me under the circumstances.

Powerfully daydreaming today. About bookkeeping, among other things.

hhhhhhhhhhh

Hanging in there

My tummy feels a little bad and I’m sleepy it’s time to close my eyes but don’t wanna

Somehow listening to some random furry’s chiptune single on Bandcamp

I wonder what TJ “Henry” Yoshi is up to these days

Obsessed with dandori

My wallet has been recovered thank you Tati

Made some poor choices today

My wallet was not left behind at the convenience store so I’m pretty certain it’s in my house. But I haven’t found it all week so it’s gonna be a fun time tomorrow tidying up and looking for it.

Have now won with 3 of 4 characters in Slay the Spire, I’ll probably stop after I win with the last one.

I love rosh hashanah and being Jewish in general

Sending myself to jail every time I use the same word or phrase twice in ten seconds

I’m sleepy and worn out and kinda sad but I don’t want to turn out the lights and shut my eyes bc I don’t want to be not able to sleep and kind of sad. Wednesday!

I’m so tireddddd

Sometimes I’m too sleepy and I get all sad and anxious!!

Love watching tennis whenever I think to do it

Hmm when I’m sleepy but not comfortable enough to sleep I don’t like that

Classic video game shit to plow through a lot of Pikimn and then get absolutely wrecked in the last area

Super Mario Bros Wonder is a strand-type game

Who needs the a character of twitter when we have a main character of misc@

Things can be a trial sometimes but it helps that I am good and nice and smart and I can even calm down sometimes

“Book-hunting, like the sexual hunt, adds to the geography of pleasure—another reason for strolling about in the world.”

Pikmin 4 good video game

Took a long nap after work for the first time in a while. It was much-needed but now I’m Not Sleepy.

Big nap after work, woof

Should shut my eyes but I’m waiting to spontaneously acquire good mental health before I fall asleep

I don’t mind Mondays per se but I really don’t want to do anything for the first three hours or so of work

I rarely see a movie and think it just sucks, because I’m not like constantly watching stuff and I know the kinds of things I like, so it’s kind of useful when I wind up watching something I don’t like at all because it serves as evidence that I don’t just cheerfully enjoy everything.

Cannot find my night guard right now, cool 😬

Cheezza? Chizza?

Desperate for cheetza

Brought home my pirate. Text me if you want to see a picture of my pirate.

Made a classic blunder by looking at some News

Getting a sneak preview of fall this morning

It might be nice to go to bed early

I feel like a little bit of a boob rn but I also had a really nice weekend in most respects so I’m just living with the boobishness and feeling mostly nice

Sometimes I eat dinner and then later I’m like “I miss dinner”

The weather at this exact instant in time at 4:18pm on August 18 is perfect

it is possible that someone is doing something nasty

Uwuuuuu tummy hurts

Turning my LED bulbs blue to make myself feel cooler

I know it’s late and past my bedtime but what if instead of turning off the lights and relaxing I lost my little mind just for fun

Been taking some big weekend naps this weekend, not a whole lot else to do on a hot afternoon sometimes

Full of sandwich

Hmm grumpy

Hm tired

tramps like us and we like tramps

Bought a pirate

Going to make an art acquisition today

All done printing my photography final…just gotta mount three more photos. Pretty proud of myself!

Planning to buy a ceramic pirate head, love art

Basically stuff is fine

I gotta go to sleep

Whuh weird sleep

Found a dang dollar bill on the ground!

Pee-Wee :(

Roller skates wheeee

Slep

I’d love to feel fine with the fact that other people are different from me and even different from one another but I find it difficult.

Took some pictures after dinner then watched a good movie then had a minor freakout for an hour or so then ate some more food so overall a good evening

“It’s been a while since I bought any books,” I incorrectly think to myself.

Oh nice it’s raining

I have had a basically nice day and even acting like I almost didn’t is overstating the case I was just kind grumpy for an hour or so, but my brain is doing some indescribable textures at me

I need to just start taking Tylenol at bedtime probably

I got more pain than I can easily endure

One of those times where I feel like I really want ice cream but am probably actually just thirsty

Yesterday was very tiring and I felt bad for parts of it but I’m back to feeling pretty good about work stuff and I think also many aspects of my life in general.

This is only my 967th post since I started using SQLite for my posts. But who’s counting?

h

I finally added a <link rel="alternate"> for my RSS feeds , which may make it easier to find my RSS feed.

Up a bit late and I’m suddenly very mad that I have to fuck around with computers for my job for the foreseeable future

Back to work tomorrow!

Got worked up enough that I had to put myself down for a nap earlier

Rly wish I had a breakfast machine.

Don’t really want to try to sleep but I don’t have any other good ideas

Took too long of a nap and now I’m up too late, at least it definitely isn’t excess caffeine

I own more books than I can shelve but the only thing I can think of to do about this is to move so really this is a problem for another time

I think two weeks off from work is too much for me, I appreciate the existence of an all-company vacation but my brain itches

Doin a pretty good job today of not doing things that will make my day worse, remembering to eat some food, etc.

I like how when you order eggs at a diner they don’t give you a list of the kinds of ways you can get your eggs, you have to know about the egg ways already.

Love a pleasant lunch hour

Really have to go outside tomorrow even if it still smells smoky

There’s not much worth looking at online huh

I am pretty relaxed

888-227-8255

Dostoyevsky probably unsurpassed at writing about a dinner going badly.

Ready to be dropped into a garbage can, kicked over, and rolled down the hill

I’m getting sniffly again and I’m out of Flonase but at least I had a nice day already

Lol having allergies yesterday was real bad for my mood, today we’re back in action folks! And by action I mean I’m gonna read Crime and Punishment in the park.

Bloooooop

Snrk

I’ve been sniffling and sneezy from allergies all day and took a very long nap in the afternoon and I’d feel like a complete lump but I managed to finish a book at least. Anyway now I don’t want to go to sleep though I certainly should

Ugh I’m too fuckin sneezy

Very sneezy today

Bagels

I have made a tactical dinner error

Bagels are so fucking good dude

No worse feeling than trying to find my way back to a website that I only vaguely remember the details of, with no ability to duckduckgo any useful keywords.

I wish David Foster Wallace weren’t dead

There’s a jazz combo playing somewhere in the neighborhood, literally sitting here on a summer night hearing jazz drift in from down the block.

Feed me steak

Not feeling it today, please put me in wet sand

I like reading books but sometimes when I finish them I get a little irritated about having real feelings about fake stuff.

Love starting my day by wrenching myself out of a bad dream

It’s a nice day and I determined I am done with work.

Photo class was fun, I learned some fun facts and now I have to take One Hundred photographs in the next week.

On my way to replace my frauded debit card 😩 and then to photography class! 😄

Every day I have new reasons to be glad I only post here now

Video game pope is always bad news

My mission to get everyone I talk to to read Middlemarch continues to bear fruit

Code comments are important not so much for explaining what something does as for explaining why it is doing it.

I think things are fine

Might be on the verge of feeling pretty much normal on a regular basis about most of my life, for the first time in like a year or something

Sleepy day

I took a nap earlier though it’s fine

Up late thinking about philosophy again

Mildly upset mostly cuz I’m tired but because I’m upset I want to figure out how to cheer up instead of go to sleep so I’m probably gonna just get more tired for a bit here.

My least favorite thing that I do a lot is go online and get upset about stuff that matters to other people but not really very much at all to me

Back at work. It’s quite nice to find myself absorbed by tasks.

I feel very peaceful tonight

To be completely honest I’m not totally comfortable with the spider situation in my bedroom right now

I am back in my favorite place on earth: my own home

Radiohead at the airport

Waiting at my gate to fly home from vacation. I love home!

Life is definitely too short to be fretting about my weight but I still think it would be nice to lose some. Not sure I realistically could without stopping SSRIs tho.

I saw so many cactus today

Watching an improv show is such a delightful and entirely ephemeral experience

Oof tired

Had a nice restaurant meal (outdoors) for the first time in like at least 18 months I think and remembering how much I love nice restaurants.

Not sure what to post about lately, stuff is mostly pretty chill tho when I’m not giving myself a hard time

I am in Los Angeles

A database table is an assertion that a certain proposition is true for the data in each row. If you want to assert two different propositions, you need two different tables.

I seem to take a while to get numb, I swear I’m more numb now than I was when I was actually getting my reshaped tooth noodled on

I have a permanent crown on by back tooth now and it’s very smooth

I can’t stop thinking about the last thing I did at work yesterday. I guess it’s good I feel engaged.

I wish my spiders would eat more of my moths.

Zero keeps his legs very organized

I’m not that old but apparently I’m old enough to wish I were younger.

Experiencing one quantum of sadness but probably will be ok after I eat dinner

I find the main thing I’m working on at work to be tedious and of little technical interest personally but a bunch of people are apparently excited for it and it shouldn’t take more than a few more weeks and then I’ll get to do something else.

Tears of the Kingdom good video game tbqh

I’m v sensitive sometimes

I might be sleepy soon

Not sleepy so I’ve been reading about how to establish a nonprofit and Robert’s Rules of Order

I want to go to the bookstore tomorrow

The posts ecosystem is really coming along

oops briefly thought I had deleted my posts database but I’m just hackin’

lolol wef

Time for a posts hackathon

I’m very sore from squatting on the deck for an hour while I assembled my chaise longue yesterday

It’s challah time! Been a while since I baked challah. Challah challah challah.

HHH…

The goop they used to take an impression of my tooth was in pretty radical colors

Much more tired out by getting this crown than I expected

Zero good he like to sleep on me

I’ve been hungry so many times today!!

Going on a bike ride!

I love…Shakespeare…

hoot hoot

In a good mood at bedtime so I’m naturally brainstorming things to feel bad about

Aubrey/Maturin…so charming

All other forms of media consumption on hold while our household dedicates itself full time to Zelda

I have been frog boiling myself in my room all day lol

New Zelda is extremely good btw

Mm got like 9 or 10 hours of sleep, I guess that’s fine. Good morning!

Feeling better about life for a number of reasons but right now it’s bc I got the cobwebs cleaned out of my ceiling.

Work today was fine and now it’s the weekend! Time to get way too hot.

Going to the store for an onion

I really just want to hang out and I can’t help resenting having to do otherwise

Toughest time getting to sleep in a while. Too much caffeine. But, idk, I’m not very inspired by the idea of tomorrow.

It’s not Friday but I kind of want it to be but I’m going to go to work tomorrow anyway

My Mostly Magnificent Mother Made Me Mucho Manicotti —mnemonic device for the names of the planets if the names of the planets all began with M

I’ve really cracked the code of a thing my brain does and I’m very proud of myself

I have been putting off calling the dentist but some shit has gone a bit haywire in there

Linux container images are just glorified zip files, don’t care for ’em.

At the mercy of my sleepy cat

And you shall draw water joyously
from the springs of deliverance

Woe, who says to wood, “Awake,” “Bestir” to lifeless stone.

I like that song.

KEXP is playing the song “Float On” by Modest Mouse.

Microwavin’ a burrito innit

If anyone is still reading this regularly I hope they are enjoying the authentic Evan experience of reading my quiet little bedtime concepts

I’ll be like “time for bed!” but what I mean is I want to get in bed and stay awake for another hour letting all remaining thoughts drain out of my body while I play solitaire on my Nintendo Switch

Really plowing through some reading this week!

Need chicken sandwich so much

Ultimately I just want to help people make use of the computer

I want to get out of bed and make my coffee but bed is also extremely comfortable

Got those Hampshire college dream blues

Fellow bus passenger playing a song out loud that Shazam tells me is called “Desnúdate mujer”

There’s so many poles stacked up by the road, it’s time for pole

Forgot I had black tea earlier

I took an after work nap today and then didn’t really do much of interest all evening, now it’s midnight and there’s nobody to talk to. Classic stuff!

Stumbling around with a headache

I cannot endorse the use of social media sites other than posts dot html

Sometimes I feel really sad and it turns out that I’m actually hungry

Garfield menorah…does it exist

Hm I’m getting a little down in the dumps and I don’t know who to complain to about it

I like to watch movies and be near my cat

I haven’t bought a new computer, my old computer is probably fine

I’m sleepy I had something else to say but I forget what it was

Sleepy

I’d read some book but I’m pretty much too tired

Wow getting all cozy in bed is pretty good

Crabs walk sideways and lobsters walk straight and we won’t let you take her for your mate

Exercise!

Just telling myself every morning I’m doing my best to make it true

My mental health correlates strongly with the heartiness of my breakfast and this should really tell me something

All hail the egg, nature’s egg.

I want warm

Doing my best 😅

Love my posts website

Time is marching on with alarming swiftness

Anyone else ever been clean, this is pretty good

Envious of my friends who get to ride trains this weekend!

Went out for some little treats

weekend…

Working on learning the lesson that Other People’s Shit is Not My Problem

Not sure what possesses me to listen to sad songs first thing in the morning during work

Such a wide range of inputs happening to me this week

Don’t forget, to “like” my posts, send me a text message to say you liked them!

I’m glad my posts live here on my website where they aren’t constantly showing up in between other people’s posts

I’m up and at em

Found my keys! They were in the pocket of my rain jacket.

restore / the temple / of isis / at memphis

It’s nice to feel nice, and safe, and looked after

Gone and spent money innit

Hm still haven’t found my keys, I may have given up.

I made crepes today!

Crepes!

Absurdly tired today after getting some exercise last night

Should I be quoting Raskolnikov? “Suffering and pain are always mandatory for broad minds and deep hearts.”

Some nice middle aged lesbians got us playing our first doubles pickleball match! We had fun.

My nap earlier was pretty good, might take another one

I’m gonna take a nap

I completed my annoying phone call and it was fine!

Dreamt I found my keys

I’m taking tomorrow off work, I will use some of that time to call my rheumatologist.

Being extremely avoidant of placing a necessary phone call to my rheumatologist.

The problem is the perception that there’s a problem.

Therapy is very powerful

It is with mixed emotions that I report that once again I am taking rather a lot of pleasure in touching computers for a wage.

I have badly mislaid my keys and have not seen them for several days, so that isn’t so great.

Grabbed a long after-dinner nap, normal stuff I guess.

Getting one of my classic midnight energy bursts to eat some food and do some chores

I guess the good news is there’s a lot of spiders in my room

I wish there were not ants and moths in my house

Doing my best, kinda 🥹

Getting on board with the chess craze like every tween

Too snoozy…I need to clean the kitchen…and do my taxes

Movies can be fun and pleasant to watch!

Being in pain when I’m trying to fall asleep is no good

At least now I can stop fiddling with them out of concern that I won’t ever figure it out.

Finally managed to remove and reinsert one of my earrings and I didn’t even injure myself. The clasps on these are real secure!

I need some new stuff to do with myself outside of work, open to suggestions.

Bleh

My various mental health meters are all at different levels which is confusing but I am mostly doing okay.

I get to wear fun earrings now!

🪬

Made dinner! Dinner good.

One thing you learn from watching movies is that kung fu is extremely cool

Dreamt I suffered from iOS poisoning

Ok night night

I’m sleepy but I don’t want to close my eyes rn I want to be awake a little longer

hungry!

Makin cinnamon buns

I’m just a sad little creature sometimes but I can be brave sometimes too I guess

John Wick time…

I have the slack app on my phone right now but I’m leaving it logged out just to help condition me against being preoccupied with work after hours

Oops, realizing I haven’t actually eaten lunch! Classic!

Made a bunch of new friends at work today 👀

Doing my best to remember how to have fun

Had a tiring and somewhat sad day but change is hard! And I got to eat pie

All right work tomorrow wish me luck

Everyone in Dostoevsky is just constantly screaming

Letter carrier is on the phone with someone discussing games where you deliver stuff, such as Death Stranding and Paperboy

Reading book outside

anyway I’ve read some books, no new bingo squares in a while though. Excited to start my new job on Monday. Didn’t get it together to cook dinner properly today but tomorrow I’ll manage.

I find that for all my insistence that I can do most of what I need to do with a computer for personal reasons on my phone, I am Ready to get myself a new mac that is smaller and lighter and fun to use and has a battery that works so I can like. Be creative on the couch more easily. Which on some level is dumb because my 10-year-old-or-so laptop works, in many respects, Just Fine, especially for what I usually do with it (use iTerm and occasionally Affinity Publisher) but the accumluated cruft and age is enough to make it all just not fun enough. I guess the good news about it working basically fine is that it could be made useful for something.

Ugh THERAPY

I’ve been feeling a bit bad about my appearance and body recently but I caught a glimpse of my face in the mirror just now and felt cute so that’s a nice win to go to bed on.

Breath of the Wild good video game

*bile

It’s funny how aggravating I find so much language, like every headline on Polygon makes me taste vile

Thinking about a classroom activity in third grade where we, like, “dissected” tripe from the supermarket with plastic knives, which I was too squeamish to do, but like, why was that a thing we were doing, did we learn something?

My podcast app got an update and now it’s more annoying for me to use in multiple ways

I guess the problem with riding a bike to the doctor is they can’t get your resting heart rate off you

I have finally decided that my ebike is named Zombocom, because it makes anything possible

Friday was my last day at the University of Washington after over 8 years there, first in a research lab and then at UW-IT. Taking a couple weeks off, and will then be starting a new job on the systems engineering team at Bandcamp. I’m excited!

Let’s go Garfield!

Unemployed for a couple weeks

Sudden insight that a lot of the time the commonplace of “use the right programming language for the job” kinda means “use the language where someone wrote the library we need”

Natasha fuckin Lyonne

Feeling optimistic!

I want to somehow fix all my remaining problems at once but I have to work on things a bit at a time like always.

I’ve got a lot of different stuff going on with me emotionally right now. Excited for my new job, sad about leaving old job, upset about clutter and dirt in the corners of my room. I might be asking too much of myself in some ways.

ticket of the day: having trouble connecting freezer to wifi

I’m on gosh darn tenterhooks

Hate to be waiting for an email!

Good day!

Woke up and I feel well-rested, incredible development

Trying to get my tummy under control with a whole assortment of potions and tablets

Fart

This Hitman game is pretty good

Burp

There’s nothing quite like the contentment that sets in when some dumb bullshit is about to not be your problem anymore

Feeling groovy about the near future

Sorry my posts are so bad, someday I will post better.

My frequent urge to plop my AirPods into a glass of water is gonna end predictably someday

I’m finding various replacement stimuli for Twitter that aren’t necessarily “better” but I feel a bit better about them, for now.

Went into a tidy and vacuum burst and while as usual it inflicts self-loathing damage it also makes my room nicer to be in

Allergy :(

What if I just block everyone I see use the word “boring” in a letterboxd review

Feeling pleased honestly

Hopefully.

Going to drag myself out of my deep funk.

!!!

!

Lying in bed thinking “I kind of want to go to sleep”

Fucked up my guts I want to only eat butter noodles for the next several days

Lying in bed under the covers until my delivery hamburger gets here, trying not to feel bad about myself!

My shit is all metabolically helled up

I’ve been taking somewhat poor care of myself for a few weeks and I would like to get beyond the present mindwave

I think I can I think I can

I should get myself busy

Hm I think I just slept from like 8pm to 4am that’s unusual

I fucked up my shot and now I feel a lingering urge to stab myself in the leg

Probably going to spend the rest of the day falling into a spiral of self-loathing but if not I’ll let you know

For fuck’s sake!

I’m birthday

I need a fresh start on some things

I’m all kinds of sleepy

screamin

I want to be indulged

There’s nobody to talk to at midnight

People are all just so bad at reading

Pleased with myself, on the whole.

Fwoosh

Spa night is best night

It’s incredible to live with a cat, which is an entire self-contained creature

My very excellent partner just brought home donuts. (Mnemonic device for the eight planets, Mercury, Venus, Earth, Pluto, Jupiter, Boreas, Hel, Dionysus.)

Pretzel steak

Don’t want to work all I want to do is think about the Pricemaster

It’s 1:30 and the only thing I’ve eaten today is coffee and pretzel sticks

hrgghhhhffffhffhg

I believe in the Pricemaster

Really slamming through some books so far this year.

Someone on a discord told me they enjoyed a book that I recommended on there a while ago which is basically the most flattering thing that can happen to me.

Love discovering egregious spreadsheet problems with a uh noteworthy financial impact if not corrected.

I want to watch more HHH movies but I also want to watch Millennium Mambo again

I don’t know if people worry about human cloning much these days but it seems like ultimately it wouldn’t be a big deal if someone did it, but there’s not a good reason to

ahaggagjsgagagh moths ffs

Beep boop

Tati’s gaming

Wahhh my body is so fragile and I keep giving it problems??

Therapy is so hard?? Rude

Absolutely zonked to pieces

Never ever ever let me sit down in front of a slot machine

Excited that I don’t have to do anything after work

Got the hiccups, snacking on gelt

Ears pierced ✅

At a tiny movie theater to see Yojimbo, I love Yojimbo

Jane Austen wrote books good

Much to like about Jane Austen of course but her sublime sense of the ridiculous is what really does it for me

Clean sheets for the first time in redacted, such luxury

Sleepy :)

Had a dream my friend told me I looked happy, and I was happy.

I hate when I know that the smartest thing I can do is turn out the lights and relax but I want someone to acknowledge my agonies but everyone else is in bed

Starting the year made uncomfortable and crabby by various ailments

It really doesn’t help that like half of the characters stop being referred to by their names by the end of the book.

Frankly I seem to have missed a lot of what was happening in The Recognitions but it was a pretty good time overall, regardless.

hny

I have a sinus infection lol

I’m home! I am done with The Holidays. All I have to do now is sit at home and watch some movies or something for a few days.

Train soon

Uncle Vanya…

Dying laughing at The Pricemaster

Books

I don’t have much to post about because I’ve been alternating placidly passing the time and being very tired, neither of which is very interesting. I built a web app for Book Bingo tho, look forward to its 2023 debut!

I should sleep 😵‍💫

When I’m tired but I’m cranky about it I just need to take it easy and go to sleep :)

Incredible that putting moisturizer on one’s face makes it feel soft and nice

A lot of the murders in this show are committed bc the murderer is a whiny little bitch

I’m tired I should focus on this episode of Columbo

Rugrats Chanukah should have a Letterboxd entry

Reminder: OpenBSD 🐡

Good news, my sister’s cat pooped

boop boop

Sure is a lot of ice out there

This year has been mostly good and I’m feeling mostly good about next year really.

:)

Literally sitting around doing Chanukah mad libs with my family.

Oof

Fambly time 🙂

M

I think it would be funny to say my favorite website is kingcounty.gov

Couple more hours and I’m done with work until 2023!

Anne Carson…

Hey my parents are here

I’m too riled up from programming the computer to go to sleep yet

Happy Chanukah!

Too cold

Things on Twitter continue to be extremely Normal

I’m really sad about P-22, what a good creature

Time for some weather

Fell into the classic trap of taking a nap right before bedtime so now I’m awake later than I need to be with nothing particular I want to do

But hey Chanukah starts Sunday night!

Haven’t had much to post about…

I thought just now that I had had a dream about looking at meat at the store then I remembered that I actually did look at meat at the store earlier today

Comfy :)

I had a nice evening at the spa and I’m kinda very energetic right now anyway goodbye all my dead skin

“L.A. is just one of two global megacities, along with Mumbai, to have big cats living within city limits.” Cool!

Hm Inscryption is good but the dumb spooky ending kinda makes it seem worse than the game part does

Sometimes even if things are basically fine I just feel so overwhelmed by the entire world and want to put my head on my desk and this is a feeling I have

Christian cannabis podcast called Praise ’n Blaze

Wow how’d I get the sniffles tonight geez

Frustrating day but right now I feel peaceful. Shabbat shalom!

I’m full of hostility juice and I need to lie down

I might buy a stack of copies of Middlemarch to give to people who come over

Grumble grumble having to make appointments grumble

Baby War

Trying to experience my mood without complaining to anyone about it. But I still have this undirected posting box I can type “I’m in a mood” in without burdening anyone specific.

Booked a spa evening and am now going to be looking forward to this for a week.

Ordered some silica gel packets

Really stoked about the chicken soup I made the other day and have continued to eat it’s very delicious

Gonna make some soup

I stayed up quite a bit too late playing Inscryption, which seems appropriate

I’m gonna look cool in my imo

Picked out some sunglasses…can’t wait for them to be ready…

Big sleepy

Big wins in therapy today such as recognizing that work is something that happens to the real me, not to some disposable avatar I send to the office

I’m a deep ocean of love

Sure is raining.

Well guess what I won’t get discouraged I’ll just practice again tomorrow

Sat down and tried to genuinely practice piano for the first time in…a long time. I’m very rusty! Shocking.

Open source big mouth billy bass

Hey it’s snowing.

If we’re going to survive as a species we need people to make a lot more janky personal websites

Sleepy? In this economy?

Many walkies

Time to go to sleep!!!!!

Twitter is just a worse version of AIM away messages

Everything is fine I just don’t feel like doing anything rn

h

Ow I’m sore.

Today I saw Glass Onion, finished Xenoblade Chronicles 3, and sneezed loudly and frequently for several hours due to an allergy or something, so pretty good overall

I need so many more Benoit Blanc movies

Rain cozy morning rain

Tati makes good pumpkin pie 🧡

I mean the book was great, it was fine to get to sleep

I finished a book and then I went to sleep it was fine

Being tired and not having really anything to do because I’m tired sometimes makes me so upset! Booo that doesn’t make sense

Whatever!

Feel like working all the way til 5 the day before a four day holiday weekend would be a silly move

Gonna turn out the lights and close my eyes bc that’s smart

I’m pretty emotional rly…I can have p weird reactions

I want Popeye’s so bad right now I will commit the arson of your choice if you bring me Popeye’s

There’s a certain pleasure I get from being inside on a rainy day and thinking about how I don’t have to go anywhere today

Feel bad for you if it’s not raining where you are

Hell yeah it’s raining

I’ve become very disequlibriated

I’m committed to fully experiencing and honoring my emotions and if that means I have to lie down in the middle of the afternoon to do that so be it

It’s a beautiful day

I love watching My Dinner with Andre

I really need to clean all the moth residue off my walls

I flipped some eggs over with my new spatula

My new spatula is here!

My new spatula is out for delivery.

^_^

Plorp plorp

Metal Gear Solid 2 is good, dude

I’m back at work but I don’t have much to do yet. Reminding myself frequently that that is fine!

Gamers weren’t ready for hog.

Can’t believe they don’t show Raiden’s hog in Metal Gear Solid 2

For Chanukah someone get me a custom-embroidered baseball cap that says “READ MIDDLEMARCH”

We love when Link has a tit out don’t we folks

Now that twitter is imploding my foresight in creating posts.html is unimpeachable

Or (2020) or whatever

I think my most toxic take at the moment is that Tenet (2021) totally rules

My landlord replaced the thermostat in my bedroom finally…love this for me…

“He’s not called Vamp because he’s a vampire, he’s called Vamp because he’s bisexual!”

I’m a little bit wibbled out of my groove tonight and not asleep yet and my body is uncomfortable :(

Oofah

Feel very satisfied that posts.html has a better business plan and a brighter future than Twitter

I was going to go be an audience in the justice system but the justice I was going to attend is located in Kent it turns out so fuck that noise, I’m not going to Kent

Lots of my recreational reading the last few weeks has been court opinions…and briefs…tonight I read a deposition transcript.

Did something dumb in a video game and tried to reset my way out of it but it didn’t do what I thought it would do so I’m just gonna go to bed I guess

Stayed up a tad too late playin Stardew Valley but it’s a good video game

In Tetris are you controlling each piece one at a time, or are you controlling an invisible person who moves the pieces around

Sleep good

Metal Gear?

Spaghetti

Sleep is improving

Oh my oh well

It’s very windy and our lights our flickering which is making me a little cwazy

I won’t mourn Twitter

I reviewed Dan Bern s/t 1997 and it’s on my new reviews page.

Feeling tired and a little grouchy tonight I need to just relax and go to bedtime Island but it’s hard

I did several chores or at least chore components or subsets today and a lot of farting around and I’m proud of the chores and there is no reason to object to farting around.

In my dream I’m in trouble with a circus/comedy/variety performance troupe for my disorderly conduct from the audience during the show.

Feeling refreshed and ready to take care of some household business and personal administrivia

I had such a nice vacation with Tati :)

I’m home yay

Earth is full of small growing things

Logging on. I had a good vacation.

I’m at a cabin on an island and I’m LOGGING OFF I will see you on TUESDAY

From Saturday evening til Tuesday I will be unreachable because I will be on an island with my phone turned off thank you.

Going on a trip tomorrow!!

The good news is I got eight hours of sleep the bad(?) news is that means I woke up at 10:30

Oops

Boop boop

My two friends who I know read feeds are successfully reading my feed!

Not putting the link rel=alternate on this page bc I’ve used up my activity points already

Try that again…

OK I now have a working(?) RSS feed for my posts, let me know if it’s not working.

I prodded at the “small internet” trend a bit when Gemini was having its surge of interest as a Gopher/WWW midpoint. I think Gemini was/is a valuable project but as a reaction against the bloat of the WWW I think it resonates mostly with hacker types that are fatally poisoned by JavaScript frameworks or disgusted by adtech. It remains perfectly possible to learn three HTML tags and make a website and show it to your friends, and the victorious ubiquity of the WWW means that your friends can actually go look at it. It’s time to believe in websites again.

I’ve got a strange little brain I guess

Why try to sleep when I can read an entire short book instead?

What I really want is for everyone to be able to make their own dumb little website and share it with people

^_^

Might be sleepy

Feel nice

Boop boop time to go to sleep

They rearranged a lot of stuff in the bookstore it was very disorienting

I have literally so many books at home that I could read and in fact have already started reading but the urge to go into the bookstore and buy the next volume of the French procedural series I’m reading is very strong.

Sitting outside a restaurant waiting for chicken strips, I’m cold, stylish, greasy, and really quite pleased with myself right now.

Week 2 of leave. Doing my best to continue cultivating peacefulness

Was in bed feeling kind of bad about myself and also hungry so I am making a waffle in the middle of the night

Bought some Patagonia shit

Going to go buy some Patagonia shit

To limber your sensibility, stalk the aesthetic everywhere: cracks in a sidewalk, people’s ways of walking. The aesthetic isn’t bounded by art, which merely concentrates it for efficient consumption. If you can’t put a mental frame around, and relish, the accidental aspect of a street or a person, or really of anything, you will respond to art only sluggishly.

I took a long nap before dinner so naturally I’ve been playing Stardew Valley from like 11pm to 1:30

Robert Onions Roberts

The worst thing about new movies to me, compared to old ones, isn’t really about artistry or ambition or integrity or anything, it’s that new movies never have enough extras

Really, pray for my guts either way, they’re not great as far as guts go in general

It’s possible that I just ate a ton of pork on the verge of going bad so pray for my guts

Record of Christmas War

Started a new Stardew Valley file and played a ton the last couple days. Good video game!

Gonna make soup tomorrow

Letting some air in

I need the rain to come

I love that I’m not doing anything right now

Even Tetris as the paradigmatic abstract puzzle video game resembles Ngai’s diagnostic example of the zany, Lucy’s job on the chocolate factory line

A video game, among other things, is a work simulator. When you play a video game, you do things that resemble work, but nothing gets done. #vgzany (leaving a hashtag for later)

The trolley is proceeding safely to its destination.

Oops drank my milkshake too fast now my tummy hurts!

Watching sports?!

While doing activities and making improvements while I’m on leave would be nice my main objectives are to rest and not give myself a hard time and I am going to let whatever happens happen

I love being Jewish so much!

Hmm I need to eat lunch

It was completely unnecessary to develop more advanced video game graphics than Metal Gear Solid 2

Sometimes I’m like “I should do an activity or creative endeavor on the computer” then I immediately lose interest or patience.

Oops I better fold my laundry

Oops having an emotion sry

Oh apparently there’s a thing I can unequip to at least stop doing auto-combos if I play on easy? Hm

I know this is a toxic opinion but having now tried Bayonetta on Easy, that’s some fake gamer shit

All right time to play some Bayonetta on easy

I’m on hiatus

Discussing my dreams in my dreams

Sigh

I’m trying

I have lost my dang mind

.

I might feel bad a lot but at least I feel good sometimes

Getting to breathe air without excess particulate matter due to wildfire smoke in it is amazing

franz ferdinand s/t (2004)

Ghondor might be my favorite video game character, she’s so hilarious in the English dub

I have been watching Xenoblade 3 cutscenes for like 45 minutes, we’re building up to the next big Twist

I feel very tired but I’m not confident in my ability to fall asleep so maybe I won’t go to sleep yet

plorp

I’ve been on a walk and I’m sweaty now

Hm I wonder if the black tea I drank at like 10pm is making it hard to fall asleep

Bloop

I should go to sleep instead of staying up for no clear reason but also it’s the weekend and I have no agenda for any of it so I guess it’s fine?

I went through a bit of a journey today when I read someone’s description of making soap and thought to myself “I could make soap” and then I looked up potassium hydroxide and thought a bit harder about the implications of trying to control exothermic reactions with caustic chemicals in or even outside my house.

Did my best to chill at work this week. I even had a pleasant time programming the computer at work today. It’s nice to work on simple things.

Methinks I shall nappe

Feeling less like following through with my plan to bike to the office today…I wish quiet sitting

If it doesn’t hurry up and rain properly sometime soon though I’m going to lose my marbles

I haven’t really gone anywhere for A While, think I’ll ride my bike to the office tomorrow and go to the video store

I am a good egg

I had a meaningful Yom Kippur now I just need to have a whole rest of the year no big deal

Your covenant with Death shall be annulled, your pact with Sheol shall not endure

So far I’m observing Yom Kippur by fasting and staying in bed. I might go downstairs and try reading Isaiah.

I wish I could go to the dentist every week

For 5783 gonna work on forgiving myself

After a day of just agitated emotions all around I think I shall Not go to services tonight and that shall be Fine With Me, and also Fine With The Lord

The only good place to make posts is posts dot html

I’m struggling! It’ll all be fine eventually but man I am struggling.

I’m small beepins

“They arrived at a room full of people who spent their lives in rooms.”

Ugh I say.

Trying not to spiral off into abstraction

L.H.O.O.Q. is basically a meme right

Just looking at the cat and talking about him all evening

Shaved and now I’m cute again.

Ow my ass

I’m fine just ugh

Ugh!

anyway uh lunch? snack? cofe? cofe.

Really need to fight my tendency to see my job as bravely holding back oncoming torrents of crap and just like. Do things I can do and not worry about failures in things I can’t be responsible for.

Not enough sleep but weekend soon

Argle garfkr

I still smell like the dentist

Letting my brain slowly heal

I went to the dentist and now I smell like the dentist 😑

Am I suddenly getting good sleep?

Zero good cat

Drinking some cow milk

Hi I am okay

Tim Rogers has the effect that other writers who reach me on a deep level have of making me want to be more like myself.

I still haven’t seen any of the Cartoon Saloon movies I should get on that

Rain btw

Boys and Girls in America (2006) RT if you agree

Every time I wake up, there I am

Shocking and confounding that every time I wake up, there I am

Oops I got really hungry and it’s bedtime I’m probably going to have to eat an ice cream sandwich in response

I need to get back to the video store soon.

Just having a peaceful afternoon basically

I continue to assume that “finsta” means “financial instagram” and I do not wish to be told otherwise.

AQI dropped into the “good” range but it still smells like a campfire

There might be a bit too much smoke for me to feel like it’s wise to spend several hours sitting outside.

a fragrant odor to the Lord

Tim Rogers is gonna kill me again

If

Cat is sleepirg

Got my challah in the oven!

I want to bake a challah but I also want to take a nap

Nintendo

All sorts of dream problems today

I love Hollywood Handbook so much

Feelin’ peaceful

Posting

What if If I go to sleep

Can’t believe how dark it is

Oh no it’s the dark time

Outside

Chichen striss

Goo morning

Good night

Boop

Posting from my watch

I think I’m going to spend Rosh Hashanah this year just sitting outside somewhere

Fun to think about how the inevitable freezing of the housing market due to mismatched expectations and incentives between prospective buyers and sellers will delay me being able to conceive of buying a home for another six years.

Doing my best to not be aware of anything other than Nintendo games

Read an entire Poirot, I might be sleepy enough to go to sleep without screaming now

I’m gonna be ok just take it all a day at a time

I drank genmaicha and I feel better

My mental health is currently: poor

I have recovered and my evening has included some Near East Spanish rice and Xenoblade Chronicles 3 and Mexican chocolate ice cream

Kind of a rough day so far what with smoke and my damned inability to swallow but at least I took a sick day. Just have to avoid the sensation that I should be doing anything.

The shortest diffs require the longest commit messages.

Username report: “slipkornbizkit”

Columbo just lurking in your house at 3 in the morning like “Hello! 🙂”

Columbo is a demon from hell

One way or another it is gonna be okay

Ray Milland!

I dream about going to New York a lot

I dreamt about a network sitcom called “Roy II” starring Ray Wise and a pre-Seinfeld Jason Alexander. They were odd-couple roommates and theater actors who were both named Roy. But also these sitcom segments were bookended by segments where their alter egos, some sort of crustacean and a Godzilla toy (or something, they were polymorphic) hosted a talk show underwater.

I guess I’m going to be okay.

Feelin like a loser

You can think you decided and then be like well, I’m not sure.

It can be very hard to decide what to do!

Feeling resolved

Down on myself oh well

I guess I’m only human

Feel like I’m on the precipice

He’s really going hard with the inappropriate behavior in this one

John Cassavetes is the murderer in this episode of Columbo and I’m like my beautiful boys together again

I don’t feel like I’ve read tons of books but I think I’ve read enough books in the past five years or so to finally feel like I have some taste worth telling people about.

Do not disappoint Tony Kushner

I have by now seen many productions of the two parts of Angels. The only ones that really succeed are the productions in which the director and designers invent great, full-blooded stage magic for every single magical appearance and special effect. Where this particular challenge of the plays has been shirked, the results have been disappointing and frequently ineffectual.

genuinely enjoy the Neon Vomit 2K redesign the Verge got

I shouldn’t think too hard about whether I feel bad because I don’t really feel bad at all right now, I’m just up too late and I should go to sleep and Everything Is Gonna Be Fine

Big don’t wanna go to sleep hours

Staying up a bit too late playing video games because that’s just where my life is right now tbh

Basically just want to eat chicken and take naps

Ok I feel better

Bleah

Trying to

I had a good vacation and I finished reading Daniel Deronda tonight and I took a nice nap after work. I feel optimistic.

Once upon a time, in 2009 or 2010, I was playing my Arctic White GBA in public somewhere. A nerd approached me and said it was cool that I was playing a “retro” system, which I found alarming. Now I’m even older. I don’t know what the moral is.

A little bit early for quitting time but on the other hand it’s my first day back wouldn’t want to overdo it.

Not a bad day at work. My vacation has helped me relax by just letting me forget most of what I was worrying about. Most of it was stuff I gave myself to do anyway.

Food is so much better in LA

Back to work. Let’s hope I can remember what my job is.

Getting some good sleep and feeling energized

“Do you want a half a candy bar?” — Lt. Columbo

I’m home hooray

Almost home!

Remember fuckin AirPhones?

Good vacation, lots of tacos, I’m ready to be home now thank you

This is a post about tacos.

Got the bedtime grumps

I’m gonna be real disoriented the next time I watch a movie with acting in it

Bagging my second movie tonight so I can spend more time sitting on the couch with my sister

This week my sister taught me how to close a car door.

Love eating food 😌

Going home tomorrow! More vacation in the meantime.

Egg

Staying up laaaate reading some nonseeeeense thinking about whateverrrr I guess it is fiiiiine

Have successfully gone a whole week without looking at work email or whatever just to give myself something to think about.

My arms are still sore, Daniel Deronda is still good, Robert Bresson still good, sister still good.

Bressontember about to start in earnest

Daniel Deronda is so good

I was like “why are my arms sore” then I remembered the rock climbing

What I wrote on Letterboxd about Diary of a Country Priest: A sexual charge appears in more than one moment here, from the naive menace of a young girl and the deliberately manipulative power of an older one, both enough to bamboozle our starving protagonist, though hardly to tempt him. But the most powerful crackle of Bresson’s submerged and subversive sexual energy comes when monsieur le curé climbs on the back of the motorcycle of a young, healthy, and evidently happy legionnaire, offering friendship. “There’s a lot like us in the Legion”, says Olivier, but like what? Simple? Faithful? Hounded and outcast? Unable to accept any shackle of social expectation, even that of the priest of a wicked rural parish? Just gay?

God grant me the astonishing unselfconsciousness of this 11 year old

It’s still Wednesday?

Rock climbing is fun

It sure has been a long time since I rock climbed

I’m on vacation 🌴🌮

I’m on vacation

It’s Robert Bressontember

I’m in Los Angeles where it is 100°F but fortunately I have no inclination to go outside

TSA precheck is an affront to justice but it also makes it tolerable to go to the airport so I don’t mind that I’ve compromised my values in this case

Really exhausting bad dream but I otherwise feel much better than I did before I went to sleep which is nice

koff koff

Chichen striss

We are at Burgermaster

Shooo

Took a big nap.

Okay sleepy!!

Steak

Coco Gauff!

Splashed some hot butter and oil onto my finger and face, feeling grateful to not have second degree burns or a burned eyeball!

Here lies Evan, they died from spending too much money on steak.

I accidentally ended up with a somewhat unreasonable amount of very expensive steak

Tati said bonch

Might take a nap

Reading philosophy on a sleepy Saturday afternoon

Sports sure is popular

We need to go back to calling it The Net

I’m never gonna do any work ever again 🖕🖕🖕🖕four hands

I’m on vacation yayyyyyyyy leaving on a trip on Tuesday yayyyyyy

Agnes Angst I love you

“I’m glad I’ve got delusions of grandeur. It makes me feel a lot better about myself.”

Kaitlyn Aurelia Smith like if you agree

I had barely any caffeine today but I’m still not sleepy which I will choose to interpreters to mean I can keep drinking afternoon coffee when I feel like it

Hey it’s September! Time to go to sleep!

Only two more days of work and then vacation

Tired of video games with “pixel” in the title

Boys and Girls in America probably still my favorite ever album if I’m being honest.

Wow did I just get a good night’s sleep? Insane.

There’s literally so many spiders in here

Ice cream fixes all my problems

(Jenny Holzer voice) it is reasonable to value fashion over comfort

Plz bring me cookie dough ice cream

I need 100 beefs per day

Feel like a bit of a putz and I just want my vacation to start

I’m outside

Ugh getting bleary-eyed already, time for a break

Recovering from a brief spell of wanting to scream

stupid horse

Five work days then vacation

Tati put some newer art on her website!

beep beep

Once again I am making a test post to test the latest iteration of the post machinery.

Every time I think about trying to buy a house I just get tired and change my mind

A good way to go a little crazy is to stare at a big Takashi Murakami painting for a while.

Reading Bernard Williams and being like “hell yeah dude” at every paragraph

Wamt Popeyes

I think Sakurai might love video games more than anyone else on earth.

Ice cream makes me so happy sometimes…

Xenoblade 3 is good…I’m 25 hours in which is like supposedly 1/4 of the game at most and I genuinely have no idea what will be happening in another 10 hours

Bghdghrgfh 🍔

I’m in the office and occupying my new office space and there’s a really great desk fan in here I love it

My other bus is a bicycle

Getting too sleepy to continue reading Bernard Williams making fun of Kant but it’s good

The outside point of view of his [ethical] dispositions is available to the agent himself. But if he tries in his reflection to abstract himself totally away from those dispositions…, then he should not be surprised if he cannot get an adequate picture of the value of anything, including his own dispositions. He cannot do so, precisely because those dispositions are part of the content of his actual self.

If you read or watch or listen to or play something because I liked it that is the most flattering thing, to me, and you should tell me, because it’ll make me feel very nice.

I’m about ready to drop a train on it

There are so many different kinds of spider in my house

Where’s the kaboom? There’s supposed to be an earth-shattering kaboom!

My new fav hot dog topping is Kewpie mayo with chili oil mixed in

I feel a bit better

Trying to emerge from a weird tarpit of my mind that has made my work life hard to bear, I need a lot of help.

Couldn’t sleep so I took a Benadryl and then had even more energy so I spent 2:30 to 3:30 drafting a Strongly Worded Email

Abloobloobloo

I feel like everyone else is normal and I am not and this is just how I feel sometimes

Oh no

Back on my bullshit (reading opinions of the Delaware Court of Chancery)

There’s nothing that intoxicates me more than competence

God I love George Smiley

George Smiley getting hassled by West German punks

I wanted to post a hot take here with a bit of a rudeness in it as a joke but I feel like I shouldn’t be rude on my own website like it was Twitter or something

My good times level is low.

I want ice cream but I am at home and ice cream is at the store

Or something

Need to determine the parameters of the Poisson distribution of how long it takes for a moth to appear in a glass of water in our house

That’s not a drama vaguepost I’m reading legal opinions and feeling flummoxed by people telling risible lies under oath

Why do people lie

today I felt very bad but I ate some ice cream and I felt a lot better

Only ten business days until I am off work for an entire week for the first time in uh a year possibly

George Smiley in the German titty bar is such a mood

Had a great time by/in the lake with friends for a couple of hours and now I have No Thoughts, the sun has erased my cares for the moment

Really glad I was able to play through Neon White despite it making me nauseous intermittently

I’m extremely lively in the middle of the night tonight and really would love to hang out with someone but the other people in my house have gone to sleep and it is probably too late to make plans with anyone else.

Two work weeks and then I get a vacation

Put my laundry away and made my bed I’m so good at chores just America’s chore champion over here

I feel that I am making a dent

I played lots of video game until just now and my bed is unmade and covered in clean laundry but it was all worth it, probably.

my guts ☹️

Once and for all I’m going to put my house in order, literally

Spring cleaning in late august.

Dealing with some dang crap.

Haven’t been feeling inspired to make good posts lately, maybe I’ll make some good posts over the weekend.

I like my incipient routine of biking to the video store every Friday.

It’s a quiet night

Friday

Every New Yorker staff writer gets to file one Personal History about their dad

rain rain rain rain rain (I hope it stops by midafternoon I need to bike to the video store)

Good morning rain

I was weepin’

King Lear, dude!!

Out, vile jelly!

King Lear is extra as fuck

I’m probably having a rougher go of things right now than I’m allowing myself to admit, unless making this post constitutes admitting it.

Stoked to go to LA in a few weeks and see a bunch of Bresson movies

I did not get enough sleep and I would like to go to sleep

Oh no I’m hungry

Xenoblade Chronicles 3 good video game

I may be discovering what it is people mean by “fun”

Buster Keaton…so beautiful…

Oh the book got here today, hooray!

Ordered a book a week ago that’s shipping as untracked media mail. The novelty of it taking more than a week to arrive and not knowing when it will get here is uh kind of entertaining actually.

If there’s one thing I like about living in the USA it’s ice

bike bike bike

I also wish people would respond to my emails asking them to review 4 page memos.

While politically I believe people should take all the vacation they’re entitled to and sneak out of the office as much as they feel like, it’s a substantial inconvenience to me when a bunch of people are out for two weeks at various points in July and August and I would prefer that everyone would do like me and only ever take 3 days off at a time due to an abhorrence of breaking routine.

Tifo

Oh boy there’s some jackhammering going on this morning

This may not be Twitter but I can still use it to post about not being able to sleep! I can’t sleep.

Columbo is a demon

Felt sad so I’m watching Columbo in the middle of the night

I’m still surprised every time I feel sad. I’m like who allowed this? And what am I supposed to do now exactly?

oops read some James Baldwin at bedtime now I feel weepy

Also I bought a Spanish dictionary!

We didn’t go on a bike ride today after all but I did get to sit in the park and finish reading a book so that was still very nice.

At the age where i can think about things that I once did and think “hmm that was 20 years ago” and then do this 😶

Bread and butter is good as hell

I have had another very good weekend.

Riding my bike around seems to have made me aerobically fitter which is really great

Nintendo uses he/him pronouns for Kirby but Kirby is obviously nonbinary idc

Gonna ride bikes along the lake!!

We gotta restrict the cat to an all-triangle diet, he keeps throwing up circles

I did a pretty good job of moving stuff around in the garage, very promising.

😌

Cut my finger a little bit in the kitchen and it’s not too bad but it does hurt like hell 😖

The day has finally come where I start moving shit around in the garage

Exercise made me tired and I took a big nap

Rode my bike to the video store to return my videos and check out some new videos 💿📺

I’m mostly unfamiliar with the 1980s

haz clic aquí

Uh oh my guts

HHH y’all

Put me in the sleep cube!!

Once again, Slack looks slightly different than it did yesterday…🅱️lease…

Kirby is my body positivity role model

There’s so many bugs in my house

I need to get good at making hamburgers once and for all

I hate computers with every fiber of my being.

I cannot even begin to express how much I hate computers.

Hmmm should I rewatch Donnie Darko to see if I think it’s good at all

I’m miserable from this stupid headache please cut my brain pan off to let the demons out

I have various complaints and agonies tonight 😠

One of my teeth causes me only pain and I’d like to remove it

No argument that relies on the premise “people are stupid” or “these people are stupid” is a good one.

Irritated about everything at work today, unable to remember which parts of my job are not irritating so that I might go do them instead of sitting here being irritated.

posts.html is the hottest new social network

uh oh sleeby

Telling myself for the moment that my room is messy because I’m very intelligent and weighty matters are on my mind to avoid feeling dejected about it

Eventually.

Oh right now that my posts are in SQLite I was gonna make an RSS feed…I guess I’ll work on that.

I got a free used copy of Lolita more out of curiosity about what it’s like than a firm conviction that I would care to read the whole thing. Having read the first few pages I can confirm that it’s excruciating to read, just totally effective at creating a narratorial voice of a thoroughly loathsome person. I may read it all at some point but I can’t imagine “enjoying” it.

Beat the second Neon Green level in Neon White, phew. Only got a little bit seasick doing it too. This is definitely the best Jewish video game I’ve played.

Slllllllllep

I’m kind of trying to change over to taking my SSRI in the evening but that means my routine is all off

Wow such a good day I didn’t even notice til just now I forgot my meds today!

Penda’s Fen was good and chili oil popcorn was good and beef with broccoli was good.

Good day!

“If you have any reason for not indulging a wish to speak to a fair woman, it is a bad plan to look long at her back: the wish to see what it screens becomes the stronger.” —GE, DD

I guess what I would say is that information about which notable figures are Jewish should be available only to Jews, and we should get updated print copies mailed to us every year.

On the one hand it feels suspicious that it is possible to find out on the third paragraph of anyone’s Wikipedia article that they are Jewish but on the other hand I constantly am after this information so it’s convenient for me personally.

Hm what to do today…probably should go experience the out-of-doors shouldn’t I

72°F, I’m hot

It’s a good thing I don’t believe my ailments are caused by my sins otherwise I would be wondering what I did to deserve this indigestion

Tummy hurt ><

I’m overcooked

ah yes love when the military jet flies by to demonstrate America’s air superiority to the adoring public and sets off car alarms

Rain!!!

The saddest thing about me is that I will look at a hot model and be like “I wish I were hot”

Hyper bowl

Characters in XC3 openly discussing game mechanics in cutscenes

I guess the reason is most people find it easier to click on stuff than to write SQL queries.

Quite frequently I think to myself “why do we even have to write software, we can just let people connect to the database and do stuff with it”

I have to do some system administration this evening, kind of annoying

I continue to decline to obtain any information about monkeypox. I do not wish to know about monkeypox.

All Frogs Go To Heaven

Good tired?

I’m tired today!

It’s all on the same server lol

Hmm maybe I should move posts.html from this website to a different website just for slightly better compartmentalization but I’m not sure I care too much about that. I guess I could mirror it.

If you like repeating aloud things you hear people say I strongly endorse Xenoblade Chronicles 3 for that

If there’s one thing I genuinely like about work it’s figuring out why things are behaving the way they are. NB things, not people.

First couple hours of Xenoblade Chronicles 3 are already promising and I’m obliged to concede that yes in fact it looks much better than 2 so far, at least in terms of the art and characters and British voice actors. Remains to be seen how many layers of combo I can do though.

I like garlic

For my next project to make my life better through programming I’ll figure out a way to regularly scrape some crossword puzzles into one place.

Oh no I can’t sleep and my brain is not doing me any good time to flip out! Or to try breathing I guess.

Sometimes I feel lost at sea

I beat a boss in Elden Ring! I just needed like a three month break.

I think there’s a difference between “creating work for an audience” and “doing stuff for attention”, even when the form of the activity is the same (posting, podcasting, performing (the three Ps)) and anyone who does the latter is almost guaranteed to be a menace to society.

You must never write “no pun intended”. If you intend the pun, just write the pun and don’t call further attention to it with a lie. If you do not intend the pun, rewrite to eliminate the pun.

Like for every compellingly fresh indie gem there’s approximately seven thousand games choosing four of the Seven Indie Ingredients

Honestly it’s kind of weird that there’s only like four kinds of indie game you can make.

Drinkin’ some coffee

Give me a heaping spoonful of words to wash away my sorrows we’ve got a long drive

lightless photographs

a comfortable nest of the torn paper heartbeats of the poem-eaters that feel more powerfully than me

Intoxicated by the boundless and dizzying array of book objects there are in the world

I kind of wish I hadn’t ordered Xenoblade 3 from the Maine-based retailer I inexplicably like to use bc now I won’t be able to play it this weekend but it’s good to delay gratification sometimes I guess.

btw everyone should read Middlemarch

Too many

I’m so sleepy happy weekend

Indo Mie

I think I need to get my last batch of fillings revised, they’re too pointy and my bite feels off

Big can’t sleep

I’m tired but brain is weird need calm quiet mind

Honk

Took a big nap and I’ve got the sniffles

My podcast feed slicing n dicing is very satisfying to me

Should I try going to sleep, my room is pretty hot

Not as hot today, actually kind of nice outside to me.

Oof big not sleepy right now…cold brew strikes again

It’s been a year since I watched Clueless, maybe I should watch Clueless

Hilda Hilda Hilda

While computers are basically bad, I still possess the capacity to feel satisfied by my ability to make my life slightly nicer by programming them to do what I want.

I’m telling Siri to post for me

Trying something

Breakfast is bagel, lunch also bagel

Ok that’s fixed. Anyway I woke up at 7:30 so I got myself out of bed and picked up bagels!!!!

Uh-oh

Since it’s hot and I kind of slept in and being alone with my thoughts while I’m trying to go to sleep is horrible I spent the last while writing a program to split up the RSS feed for a Patreon podcast into a feed for each of the shows that comprise the feed and it worked and now I think I can work on going to sleep.

Actually I think my main problem overall is that I just think the same thoughts all the time and it’s a huge bummer

One of the main sources of discomfort in my life is awareness that both good and bad things exist simultaneously

Harmful Park

Having an uncomfortable allergy night tonight (hopefully, and not covid) but I am improving

Tati is home!

Despite my most fervent wishes, coffee will never be breakfast.

Please place me in a soft quiet area

I need a takeout moratorium

I read a book over the weekend but I’m not getting any bingo squares for it

Tati comes home tomorrow yayyyy

Anxious and slightly unhinged today, ready for my partner and household routine to come back.

Pshoo

11 years ago

Dreamt I was anxious about having trouble registering for classes at school and waking up I’m like yeah no shit you couldn’t register you graduated from college

I am nice and have nice friends

Pizza slice 🍕

Hey

I’m so good to love

Good day.

Love friendship.

I would never say I’m a “cinephile” but I think movies can be pretty good!

One of my new/redone fillings is sensitive, gonna give that a couple days to get better

I’m deep in the brain pile

I don’t think Columbo actually works for the police I think he’s a demon

Spock should be in every show

Daniel Deronda tugging quite vigorously on the ol’ heartstrings

Gonna go to the store and get some dinner and treats.

The latest developments at work portend an opportunity for some meaningful change. Hopefully we can follow through on it.

Somehow I am both numb and sore from the dentist at the same time

I may have understimulated the cat today

Cat what do you want

I accidentally stressed out my guts 🙁

You could maybe accuse me of being undiscriminating when I click the “like” button on Letterboxd for almost every movie I watch but idk “like” is not a very strong word, if I had a reasonably good time I click the heart. (This is “making up a guy to get mad at me” territory…)

I love my cute soft cat

😌

Nobody makes me go to bed anyway

I’m home alone this week nobody can make me go to bed

I took a long(?) nap immediately after work and I genuinely do not know when I will be sleepy.

Everyone needs a database.

Famous local crackpot Goodspaceguy forgot to submit his photo and statement for the primaries, he must not favor his chances this year.

The SQLite edit() function is hot.

The main virtue of going on vacation is that it gives you something to come home from.

I’m going to stay home for a week.

This is the most I’ve wanted to be home in a long time and I pretty much always want to be at home

I’m on the ground, hooray

Boop

My flight is delayed, I haven’t even left for the airport yet but I’m still considering totally losing my shit over it

As usual, I’m hungry.

“Few friendly remarks are more annoying than the information that we are always seeming to do what we never mean to do.” —GE, DD

My agenda for the rest of the day is to eat some kalua pork and then go to the airport and fly home and honestly, not bad?

I have gotten a Coke

I’ve done some informative experiments and I should be able to post images soon.

Basically, I prefer to be at home.

I’m in the athleisure capital of the world

As is traditional for my vacations I am fervently wishing I were going home today but I am going home tomorrow

Coffee ☕️

I don’t think I’ve ever once gone on a trip where I didn’t wish I were home about halfway through it.

Waitin’ on some fish tacos

Lotta walking around the last couple days…time to Sit.

I already brushed my teeth but I am eating more gummy worms anyway

Wow I’m so tired

I like to be on vacation.

Old friend, good buildings, butterflies, sea creatures in jars, good day.

As long as I don’t sign in to Slack I’m being good.

Kind of ridiculous how much I want to know about work stuff while I’m on vacation but I’m staying strong. Today anyway.

Friendship and ocean worms ✨

I like being on vacation

I am at the beach.

San Diego scene report: huevos rancheros only $11.95

Gonna go sit on da beach

Mmmmm hotel

We landed! Hope I didn’t catch covid!

Being on a Boeing 737 has its own sort of comfort.

Well I’m on the plane. I’m not in the sky though.

Too bad I probably can’t post from the plane. Just pretend I’m posting stuff like “I’m on the plane,” “It’s loud on the plane,” or “Plane.”

Doop doop doop

Cannot say I’m happy to be at the airport but it’s got high ceilings and my last minute mask order came and also I have taken a benzo

At least the mysterious insurance claim Geico called me about definitely has nothing whatsoever to do with me.

I know “Genetically engineered pig hearts transplanted into dead people” is probably a headline bespeaking an impressive scientific milestone but it sure sounds menacing.

My phone lock screen is a picture of my partner and my partner’s lock screen is a picture of Cloud Strife.

Having all my posts on one long page probably makes it easy to tell that I think about the same stuff all the time.

Harmful Park

Honestly I would say work is going rather well and I’m looking forward to being away from it for several days.

I might knuckle down and write some code to allow me to read my friends’ tweets once a day or so without having to look at Twitter itself.

If you like my posts, you’ll love Tati’s Toasts!

There’s no plot quite like the incest plot though!

I’m frankly an extremely conservative Shakespeare fan.

Perl is fine.

Lotta posts.

I have made almost 350 posts!

All the pre-database posts just appended to the new posts, I love Pandoc.

Posting is now powered by slightly more code, but more importantly a SQLite database. Some tradeoffs with that but it will make it possible to provide a working RSS feed for my two friends who want that and make things a bit more robust for letting Tati also make some posts.